Before the Shift: Why Emotional Safety Comes First

Emotional Safety and the Shifting Mindset

I recently spent time with someone I hadn’t seen in over a year. The long absence wasn’t accidental—it was necessary. I needed time to shift my mindset. I needed to feel safe before I could expose myself to that relationship again.

The previous visit hadn’t gone well. I won’t get into the details, but I left feeling picked on. My initial response was emotional but reflective—I was in a Balanced Mindset, trying to understand what had happened but was not emotionally unattached. I cried, wondering why this dynamic felt so different from every other relationship in my life.

But once I got home, the delayed reaction hit. I was feeling safe enough for a Knowledge-Based mindset and a more objective reflection on events. I realized I had actually been treated unfairly. That insight triggered anger and a strong Survival-Based Mindset. I sent brutally honest texts, calling out their behavior. I didn’t care if I ever saw them again. Good riddance.

Then time passed.

And with time came safety. I began to feel safe and grounded again. No matter what they said, I knew they couldn’t hurt me. That shift in emotional safety allowed my mindset to evolve. I reached out, apologized, and asked if we could reconnect.

Now, I believe I’m operating from a more Balanced Mindset. I won’t allow myself to be vulnerable in the same way I was in the Knowledge-Based Mindset—overanalyzing, absorbing blame that wasn’t mine. But I also won’t react from the raw sensitivity of the Survival-Based Mindset. I can engage without losing myself.

This experience reminded me:
Mindset isn’t just about how we think. It’s about how safe we feel.
And sometimes, the most powerful shift begins with stepping away—until we’re ready to return with clarity.

If you’ve ever felt the tension between vulnerability and self-protection, you’re not alone.
Predicting Human Behavior explores the mindsets behind these moments—and offers tools to navigate them with clarity and compassion.
Ready to understand yourself and others more deeply?
👉 Buy the book here (only $2.99 on Kindle or free for KU Members) 









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