Mindset in Motion

“I’m just not that kind of person.” It’s a phrase we’ve all heard — maybe even said ourselves. It sounds like self-awareness, but often masks something deeper: a belief that personality is fixed, immutable, and predictive. That once we’ve been labeled — introvert, achiever, empath, rebel — we’re locked into a script we didn’t write. But what if personality isn’t the blueprint? What if it’s the snapshot — a momentary reflection of the mindset we’re in? 🧠 Personality vs. Mindset: A Shift in Lens Personality assessments offer language. They give us categories, traits, and tendencies. And for many, they’re a gateway to self-understanding. But they’re also static. They describe who we’ve been, not who we’re becoming. Mindsets, by contrast, are dynamic. In my framework, we explore three core categories: • Survival-Based Mindsets : reactive, protective, often masked. These emerge when safety feels threatened — emotionally, socially, or psychologically. • Balanced Mindsets: adaptive, fle...

I’ve always bristled at the trope where a man and woman seem to despise each other—bickering, clashing, full of tension—only to suddenly fall into bed together. From The Notebook to Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing, it’s as if hostility and attraction are two sides of the same coin. And while it feels emotionally messy and toxic (and often unrealistic), maybe there’s a deeper truth beneath the surface. Let’s talk about mindsets. When someone is fighting, they’re in a Survival-Based Mindset —primed to defend themselves mentally or physically. Interestingly, that’s the same mindset activated during sexual arousal. Why would evolution pair aggression and attraction? Because survival and reproduction are deeply intertwined. Here’s how: 🧠 Why the Survival-Based Mindset Supports Sexual Connection 1. Mate Competition In nature, securing a mate often involves competition. That threat triggers alertness and readiness—hallmarks of the survival mindset. 2. Vulnerability to External Threats S...

 I often find myself planning projects… but not starting them. And the few I do start? They tend to stall around the three-quarter mark, lingering unfinished. Why does this happen? Time to turn to the Theory of Mindsets (TOM). I recently wrote about procrastination, and the same dynamic seems to be at play here. When I’m in a Knowledge-Based Mindset , my brain is busy—but not with action. It’s full of ideas, plans, and mental rehearsals. But getting out of the chair? That takes physical effort. I have to psych myself up, sometimes giving myself a countdown just to move. Motivation often comes from fear—like the thought of a guest seeing my messy house. That fear nudges me toward a Survival-Based Mindset , where urgency sparks physical action. But then… why do I stop before the job is done? Maybe I pick up clutter and take out the trash, but I don’t vacuum or dust the cobwebs. I either get distracted by another task or slip back into inaction before the job is truly done. Why? ...

 At my workplace, new hires are encouraged to take the DiSC personality assessment . Naturally, I find it fascinating—especially how each type seems to mirror different mindsets. Let’s take a look through the lens of The Theory of Mindsets (TOM): • D (Dominance) types prefer direct communication without all the details. They’re results-driven, strong-willed, and focused on control. They often fear vulnerability and losing power, which can lead to a lack of concern for others. Their communication style reflects a Survival-Based Mindset —efficient, assertive, and protective of their autonomy. • I (Influence) types are social, enthusiastic, optimistic, and high-spirited. They fear rejection, disapproval, or being ignored. Details aren’t their strong suit. At first glance, they seem rooted in a Survival-Based Mindset, driven by social belonging and external validation. But their boldness, nonconformity, and desire to stand out suggest a more Balanced Mindset —one that’s willing t...

Some mindset shifts happen naturally. Others require force. And sometimes, that force comes in the form of chemistry. This post isn’t about judgment. It’s about mapping. Because when we understand the terrain of our inner world, we can make more conscious choices about how we move through it. 🧠 Why We Medicate: The Need for a Different Mindset Most people don’t wake up thinking, “I want to alter my brain chemistry today.” But they do wake up feeling stuck, overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsafe. And in those moments, the desire to shift out of a Survival-Based Mindset becomes urgent. • Alcohol is often used to lower inhibition, quiet the inner critic, and relax the nervous system. It’s a shortcut to feeling socially safe and escape the Survival-based mindset— even if the cost is clarity or control. • ADHD medications like stimulants increase dopamine and norepinephrine, helping override executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation. They don’t just help with focus — they help escap...

When I wrote Predicting Human Behavior , I wanted to offer more than just insight—I wanted to give people a language for understanding themselves. The Theory of Mindsets (TOM) emerged from that desire: a framework that helps decode the emotional patterns behind our choices, reactions, and habits. One of the most common—and misunderstood—habits we face is procrastination. It’s easy to label it as laziness or poor time management. But through the lens of TOM, procrastination reveals something deeper: a signal of mindset friction. --- 🌀 The Procrastination Loop Procrastination often begins in a Knowledge-Based Mindset. You think about the task constantly. You analyze, plan, rehearse. You might even feel guilty for not starting. But action feels distant. The Knowledge-based Mindset revolves around conscious thought, not taking action. However, the emotional signal needed to switch mindsets to begin the task just isn’t available. Then, as the deadline looms, panic arrives. That emotional ...

  Sometimes, our mindset feels like it’s working against us—especially in moments that matter. Recently, I gave a presentation to my co-workers. I knew the material. I was prepared. But as I stood in front of the room, something deeper took over. My unconscious fear of rejection and judgment triggered a wave of emotion, and my brain responded by shifting into an extreme Survival-Based Mindset . This wasn’t the helpful kind of survival alertness that sharpens focus and fuels performance. It was the kind that hijacks clarity. My heart pounded. My voice shook. I found myself reading directly from the slides, unable to access conscious thought. I wasn’t in danger, but my brain didn’t know that yet. As the presentation continued, something shifted. My mind began to recognize safety. I felt more grounded and gradually moved into a more balanced mindset. In fact, I may have overcorrected—slipping into a Knowledge-Based Mindset. I became overly comfortable and started answering questions w...

We’ve all heard the phrase “You’re not yourself when you’re hungry.” It’s often said with a laugh, but it holds a deeper truth—one that The Theory of Mindsets (TOM) helps illuminate. 🔥 Hunger and the Survival-Based Mindset When a basic physical need like hunger isn’t met, our brain shifts into a Survival-Based Mindset . This state is designed to protect us—it heightens irritability, impatience, and reduces empathy. Social niceties fall away because the brain is focused on one thing: resolving the threat. Even a mild discomfort like hunger can trigger this shift, making us short-tempered or emotionally reactive. 🍲 The Shift After a Meal But here’s the fascinating part— mindsets can shift as quickly as our blood sugar rises . Once we’ve eaten, the discomfort fades and our brain chemistry recalibrates. We often return to a Balanced Mindset , where empathy, patience, and social awareness are restored. Sometimes, especially after a large meal, we drift even further—into the Knowle...